What the Hell Were You Thinking?! – Yeah, That Looks Healthy
This week’s What the Hell Were You Thinking?! is brought to you by Dawn of the Dead (2004).
Recently we’ve encountered a resurgence of the zombie movie. I’m not exactly sure why they suddenly became so downright popular but starting with the publication of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and the conversion of The Walking Dead to television it’s not far fetched to say that zombies are in vogue. But there was never a time when zombies weren’t beloved in their niche from the time of George Romero’s original Night of the Living Dead. Dawn of the Dead, the second in Romero’s zombie franchise was remade in 2004 with an all star cast and having very little to do with Romero’s original. The basic story is that people wake up one morning and everyone’s a zombie. Well, not everyone cause there’s always the survivors. How they survived is not said because it’s never really said how everyone turned into a zombie in the first place. The lead character, played by Sarah Polley, escapes her home and zombified husband and sequesters herself away in the local mall. And she’s not the only one who had that idea because pretty soon there’s a community of mall dwelling survivors who can’t escape given the fact that the mall is now surrounded by zombies. They make plans and beat back the walking dead for a couple hours before finally finding escape from their particular hell and pretty much end up in another sort.
The scene in question involves Mekhi Phifer playing petty criminal Andre. He escapes to the mall when the zombies start to descend but his pregnant wife is not so lucky. She makes it to the mall, but is scratched when she gets there by a zombified security guard. We all know what happens when one is bitten or scratched or whatever by a zombie. We’ve seen it a million times; when a character doesn’t want to let go of their loved ones even though they are no longer their loved ones. Andre is no different. He doesn’t want to let go of his wife, but he also doesn’t want to let go of the baby. So instead of putting her out of her misery he ties her to a department store bed a ways away from the rest of the group and helps her give birth to a zombie baby. Yes, that’s right, a zombie baby. I get it, it’s sad. No one wants to let go of people they love, but really? There’s no way this could ever end well. And guess what? It doesn’t. Apparently in the original script the baby kills the mother but this was removed for ratings. I fail to see why the baby would attack the mother because she’s already zombified, and zombies don’t eat other zombies, but whatever, we’ll leave it at that.
I can understand the urge to keep a loved one for as long as possible. The possibility of a cure. The thought that deep down they might be in there. The thought that maybe it isn’t scratching that passes the infection and she’s just a little peaky from her pregancy. But guess what, there is no cure and they are not really in there. They’re a walking, rotting, puss spouting, black blooded, dead person with no personality left whatsoever. Sorry. It’s time for two in the head and move on.