Monday’s Maniac: Farmer Vincent

This week’s Monday’s Maniac: Farmer Vincent (Vincent Smith)
The Movie: Motel Hell
The meat: You don’t want any part of.

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Back Story: Vincent is a farmer and proprietor of the Motel Hello whose smoked meats are renowned in the area. The secret ingredient? Human flesh. You set up booby traps around the area to catch unsuspecting victims, then cut their vocal chords and plant them in a “secret garden” up to their necks until they’re ripe enough to eat.

Occupation: Farmer, butcher, and meat entrepreneur

Appearance: 1

General Target: Tourists, Anyone passing through, swingers

Outfit: Straw cowboy hat, Overalls and plaid shirt. Pigs head

Weapon(s): Tractor, noose, Chainsaw, various booby traps

It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent fritters and if you’re not careful you may end up in one. He’s folksy, charming and extremely dedicated to the art of meat making. If you’re a pretty girl he may be inclined to marry you (before any sort of kissing and “taking” can happen) and even promise to teach you how to smoke the best damn meat in world. For some reason he decides to put a giant pig head on to do battle with the Sherriff (his little bro).

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~ by ClevelandPoet on June 14, 2010.

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